90 % Scholz
The Chancellor says 90% of his government's goals have been achieved. Why didn't he say 100%?
by Alexander Kira
by Alexander Kira
A few little things show that our Chancellor is not socialized in the east of the republic like his predecessor. He is currently spreading the word that 90% of his coalition's goals have been achieved. Such a faux pas would never have happened to his predecessor or to the other previous governments in Berlin, capital of the GDR. Here the planned target would have been fulfilled at least 100%, but more likely 190%. Why? 100% planned target has something of courage. They have the strength and coolness to claim something that cannot be true. On the other hand, anyone who operates with 90% or even 98% makes themselves vulnerable and suspicious: Why, comrade, not 100%? Please provide evidence! Petty questions up to the exact expense report and foreign exchange accounts follow. Unpleasant. There is suspicion of a small hoax, which is supposed to make the big hoax appear more credible. At 100%, no one asks. It is clear that this is impossible - but the courage of such a brigade not to let themselves be defeated by the target prohibits any questioning. This is what heroes are made of. And who will seriously ask heroes for an entertainment receipt?
It is not for nothing that the downfall of the GDR only came about when attempts were made to make the election results appear more "realistic". Our Chancellor could learn here in particular from another of his predecessors, the current birthday boy Gerhard Schröder. He would have said: "100 % we have fulfilled". To the journalist's question "100% of what?" he would have answered: "Now don't get hung up on the details. I've already said 100% - and I'm proud of it!" "But about what?" "Look: you're talking about speculation, I'm talking about facts. And they're 100%. Print this!".
One cannot help but get the impression that our former chancellor, with his positive worldview and unquestionable quick-wittedness, would easily win a third, this time full, term of office today. To put it more aptly: If someone with his talent for condensing problems and turning them into positives was on Tik-Tok for even 15 minutes - the election victory would certainly be awarded to him prematurely. The Elections Research Group would stand up and applaud rhythmically. While singing the Deutschlandlied. Of course in the Lothar de Maizière version, combined with Resurrected from Ruins. That would make even Erich Honecker, the old Saarlander, green with envy. True to the slogan that one would also like to shout to our Chancellor: Socialism in its course will never be stopped by the 100 - only the 90!
04/08/2024
Alexander Kira has written about international human rights protection and is a lawyer, presenter and cabaret artist. He lives and writes in the heart of Berlin.
It is not for nothing that the downfall of the GDR only came about when attempts were made to make the election results appear more "realistic". Our Chancellor could learn here in particular from another of his predecessors, the current birthday boy Gerhard Schröder. He would have said: "100 % we have fulfilled". To the journalist's question "100% of what?" he would have answered: "Now don't get hung up on the details. I've already said 100% - and I'm proud of it!" "But about what?" "Look: you're talking about speculation, I'm talking about facts. And they're 100%. Print this!".
One cannot help but get the impression that our former chancellor, with his positive worldview and unquestionable quick-wittedness, would easily win a third, this time full, term of office today. To put it more aptly: If someone with his talent for condensing problems and turning them into positives was on Tik-Tok for even 15 minutes - the election victory would certainly be awarded to him prematurely. The Elections Research Group would stand up and applaud rhythmically. While singing the Deutschlandlied. Of course in the Lothar de Maizière version, combined with Resurrected from Ruins. That would make even Erich Honecker, the old Saarlander, green with envy. True to the slogan that one would also like to shout to our Chancellor: Socialism in its course will never be stopped by the 100 - only the 90!
04/08/2024
Alexander Kira has written about international human rights protection and is a lawyer, presenter and cabaret artist. He lives and writes in the heart of Berlin.
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