Core competence: Me!
Some time ago, politicians discovered the ability to address the people directly via social media. But even daring warriors still need an excuse. What looks like democratic gain sometimes turns out to be a simple abuse of power.
Kai Blasberg wonders whether we should put up with this.
Kai Blasberg wonders whether we should put up with this.
When Olaf Scholz speaks to his people in one of his video channels run by ministry officials, I often catch myself scanning the surface of the picture looking for signs of manipulation. Is it still real, or is it already AI from a satirist? All too irrelevant in nature and content, even for him.
With Markus Söder the question does not arise: AI would just be ashamed of the simplicity of the impression that the Franconian Coldeye gives us, for example via Instagram. He must simply believe that we, the recipients, had barely survived a cerebral infarction at that very moment. Thematically appropriate is an Easter greeting in which he raffles off a giant chocolate Easter egg decorated with his at most moderately beautiful likeness. With his insatiable vanity, he prevents any hint of humorous perception. That's how we know him. He used to pretend that he wanted to be a serious representative of the people. I think he gave up on that.
Robert Habeck, on the other hand, seems more enthusiastic to me. He also uses Easter. Although one can carefully assume that his reference to the fairy tales of the events surrounding Good Friday is probably less of a religious devotion, in order to reach us with a video message. With Robbie, this kind of thing takes almost endless, agonizing 10 minutes. Habeck lets us take part in his search for a topic. He calls us very friendly, even though he's wearing a tie. In television, this is called word image scissors. What is spoken doesn't quite match what is shown. Of course on his ministry's YouTube channel. In the Easter speech, as I said, the resourceful people's tribune needs a reason, no matter how dizzy it is, Robert used the word I very often. And said himself. He, Robert Habeck, advocated arms deliveries to Ukraine. Now Robert Habeck is Minister for Economic Affairs and Climate Protection; he does not manage the finances, the responsible defense budget, nor does he lead the entire government. But what someone should tell him. Because apart from me and his long-winded and long-known opinion on the Ukraine war, he said nothing about Easter, nothing about the economy, nothing about climate protection and, surprisingly, nothing about himself. He said just me. And often. A 10-minute speech without content is an art in itself, but not one that we, who first endure it and then pay for it, have to find good. Don't you have anything else to do, guys?
Now this text would actually be over. But I thought about it, given that all these confusing video platforms are already being used at taxpayer expense, who else should spread the word and on what occasion and on what topic in the future and for our more cheerful entertainment.
Simple, for example, would be former US President Bill Clinton's omissions on the topic of "fidelity in marriage in the dark White House". The archiepiscopal missionary seminary Redemptoris Mater in Bonn would be an ideal venue for the lecture. But think about the $200,000. Bill doesn't say anything else.
The Swabian butcher's son Ulrich Hoeneß had something edifying to offer about "The perfect career end on World Listening Day" in Vestenbergsgreuth Castle. He would donate his fee of 50 euros. Before that, however, he instructed "Bild" to report it and kept the amount secret. Angela Merkel, who shouldn't be missing here, would take the current reference to the cannabis discussion and give a talk about "Smoking Indian flower cane in bison jeans after synchronized swimming on the occasion of the Summer Peoples' Spartakiad at the gates of Moscow in 1979". Of course, money wouldn't flow here in a good Calvinistic way. Your predecessor Schröder talks to us about his view on "The sincere friendship between men and mass murderers, with particular attention to large monetary payments in connection with pretextual arguments regarding peace and the energy supply of the federal, state and local governments." Lecture and payment of fees (see Bill Clinton) on Navalny's death row in the Arctic Circle included. When Merkel speaks, the EU Commissioner is not far away. Flinten-Uschi von der Leyen has long wanted her lecture on "Childlessness in the western peripheral zone in the eighties and nineties". Your fee is paid in offices. From now on, she will run the Pro-Familia office in Braunlage am Harz on an honorary basis. She was one of the few who didn't have the job yet.
"Goat or cow - you decide" is Christian Lindner's theme at his ex Dagmar's bachelor party. And Olaf, our Chancellor Scholz, doesn't put up with the defamatory AI moaning and belts out "The advantage of emotional eruption as a person and man" at the Rose Monday procession in Finsterwalde, which he will be holding there for the first time and alone.
You see, dear readers, there is a cornucopia of good and very serious topics that could be recommended to the obviously underemployed comedians from politics and society.
Because you will probably no longer be able to get to grips with the journeymen in a serious way.
Let's try it again?
Dear Olaf, dear Robert, dear Christian,
We're not stupid.
And if we're stupid, it's not in the way you think.
Just stop playing around at our expense. Once closed, avoid the public for a long time. Work seriously and persistently on issues and prepare us, the people, for thorough, thoughtful and effective governance. Use your intelligence and education for the country to which you have sworn an oath. Take care of the topics that are on your business card. Try knowledge and facts. Throw out half of your employees who have been bothering you for a long time. A little advice: they will be "think tank" figures in the broadest sense. Don't read newspapers and online news. No social media. Not answering the phone. And tells the journalists that they need to look for more meaningful jobs than making money on talk shows.
Ok, dear reader, you realize: it makes no sense.
P.S.: Habeck: You will never become Chancellor. Stop pretending!
P.P.S.: Markus. Really now!
04/11/24
*Kai Blasberg worked in the private media in Germany for 40 years
With Markus Söder the question does not arise: AI would just be ashamed of the simplicity of the impression that the Franconian Coldeye gives us, for example via Instagram. He must simply believe that we, the recipients, had barely survived a cerebral infarction at that very moment. Thematically appropriate is an Easter greeting in which he raffles off a giant chocolate Easter egg decorated with his at most moderately beautiful likeness. With his insatiable vanity, he prevents any hint of humorous perception. That's how we know him. He used to pretend that he wanted to be a serious representative of the people. I think he gave up on that.
Robert Habeck, on the other hand, seems more enthusiastic to me. He also uses Easter. Although one can carefully assume that his reference to the fairy tales of the events surrounding Good Friday is probably less of a religious devotion, in order to reach us with a video message. With Robbie, this kind of thing takes almost endless, agonizing 10 minutes. Habeck lets us take part in his search for a topic. He calls us very friendly, even though he's wearing a tie. In television, this is called word image scissors. What is spoken doesn't quite match what is shown. Of course on his ministry's YouTube channel. In the Easter speech, as I said, the resourceful people's tribune needs a reason, no matter how dizzy it is, Robert used the word I very often. And said himself. He, Robert Habeck, advocated arms deliveries to Ukraine. Now Robert Habeck is Minister for Economic Affairs and Climate Protection; he does not manage the finances, the responsible defense budget, nor does he lead the entire government. But what someone should tell him. Because apart from me and his long-winded and long-known opinion on the Ukraine war, he said nothing about Easter, nothing about the economy, nothing about climate protection and, surprisingly, nothing about himself. He said just me. And often. A 10-minute speech without content is an art in itself, but not one that we, who first endure it and then pay for it, have to find good. Don't you have anything else to do, guys?
Now this text would actually be over. But I thought about it, given that all these confusing video platforms are already being used at taxpayer expense, who else should spread the word and on what occasion and on what topic in the future and for our more cheerful entertainment.
Simple, for example, would be former US President Bill Clinton's omissions on the topic of "fidelity in marriage in the dark White House". The archiepiscopal missionary seminary Redemptoris Mater in Bonn would be an ideal venue for the lecture. But think about the $200,000. Bill doesn't say anything else.
The Swabian butcher's son Ulrich Hoeneß had something edifying to offer about "The perfect career end on World Listening Day" in Vestenbergsgreuth Castle. He would donate his fee of 50 euros. Before that, however, he instructed "Bild" to report it and kept the amount secret. Angela Merkel, who shouldn't be missing here, would take the current reference to the cannabis discussion and give a talk about "Smoking Indian flower cane in bison jeans after synchronized swimming on the occasion of the Summer Peoples' Spartakiad at the gates of Moscow in 1979". Of course, money wouldn't flow here in a good Calvinistic way. Your predecessor Schröder talks to us about his view on "The sincere friendship between men and mass murderers, with particular attention to large monetary payments in connection with pretextual arguments regarding peace and the energy supply of the federal, state and local governments." Lecture and payment of fees (see Bill Clinton) on Navalny's death row in the Arctic Circle included. When Merkel speaks, the EU Commissioner is not far away. Flinten-Uschi von der Leyen has long wanted her lecture on "Childlessness in the western peripheral zone in the eighties and nineties". Your fee is paid in offices. From now on, she will run the Pro-Familia office in Braunlage am Harz on an honorary basis. She was one of the few who didn't have the job yet.
"Goat or cow - you decide" is Christian Lindner's theme at his ex Dagmar's bachelor party. And Olaf, our Chancellor Scholz, doesn't put up with the defamatory AI moaning and belts out "The advantage of emotional eruption as a person and man" at the Rose Monday procession in Finsterwalde, which he will be holding there for the first time and alone.
You see, dear readers, there is a cornucopia of good and very serious topics that could be recommended to the obviously underemployed comedians from politics and society.
Because you will probably no longer be able to get to grips with the journeymen in a serious way.
Let's try it again?
Dear Olaf, dear Robert, dear Christian,
We're not stupid.
And if we're stupid, it's not in the way you think.
Just stop playing around at our expense. Once closed, avoid the public for a long time. Work seriously and persistently on issues and prepare us, the people, for thorough, thoughtful and effective governance. Use your intelligence and education for the country to which you have sworn an oath. Take care of the topics that are on your business card. Try knowledge and facts. Throw out half of your employees who have been bothering you for a long time. A little advice: they will be "think tank" figures in the broadest sense. Don't read newspapers and online news. No social media. Not answering the phone. And tells the journalists that they need to look for more meaningful jobs than making money on talk shows.
Ok, dear reader, you realize: it makes no sense.
P.S.: Habeck: You will never become Chancellor. Stop pretending!
P.P.S.: Markus. Really now!
04/11/24
*Kai Blasberg worked in the private media in Germany for 40 years
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