Women's rights in Germany: The suffering in family court
Gender equality is a cornerstone of our society, but in practice it turns out that women in Germany are still confronted with massive injustices - especially in the context of family courts. Serdar Somuncu spoke about exactly this in one of his last podcasts: men who hardly or not at all care for their children are nevertheless often given more rights in court than they actually realize. Women and children are left behind - a topic that I know all too well from my work as a social worker.
by Cleo
by Cleo
Manipulation of children by fathers
A sad but common phenomenon that I observe is the manipulation of children by fathers who deliberately want to destroy the relationship between mother and child after the separation. It starts insidiously: the father portrays the mother as incapable, plays the children against her with false promises or subtle remarks. This behavior, known as parental alienation, can cause massive psychological damage to the children in the long term - and at the same time cements the suffering of the mothers affected.
According to a study by the University of Regensburg, women are particularly likely to suffer from this dynamic. They feel abandoned, not only by their former partners, but also by the institutions that are supposed to protect them. The result: the women fight not only for the well-being of their children, but also for their psychological stability.
Court decisions against the welfare of the child
A frightening example from my practice shows how women are disadvantaged in court, even when the fathers' behavior endangers the welfare of the child. A mother I look after had to witness how her ex-husband repeatedly put her children in dangerous situations that almost ended in death. Although several experts assessed the father as unsuitable to look after the children, the court ruled in his favor. Two of the four children now live with him - despite all the warning signs.
These decisions reflect a system that often does not take women seriously. Studies, for example by the German Institute for Economic Research (DIW), show that fathers are often portrayed in court as "indispensable" for the development of the children, while the achievements and warnings of the mothers are ignored.
Violence against women and institutional blindness
Another point that exacerbates the problem is the way domestic violence is dealt with. Many women report that their experiences are trivialized in court. The report of the GREVIO Committee on the implementation of the Istanbul Convention in Germany shows that Germany still has massive gaps in the protection of women from violence. Especially in family courts, it is often argued that children "need both parents" - even if one parent has used violence.
What needs to change?
1. Better training for professionals: Judges, lawyers and youth welfare office employees need to be better trained to recognize child welfare and manipulation dynamics.
2. Greater emphasis on expert opinions: Reports from social workers, psychologists and other professionals need to be given greater consideration in court.
3. Clearer legal regulations: Legal requirements are needed to prevent children from being placed in the care of dangerous parents - especially in cases of violence or neglect.
4. Strengthening women's rights: Women need to be supported more, be it through legal advice, psychological help or financial support.
Germany still has a long way to go when it comes to women's rights. The stories I experience in my work and the reports from those affected show how deeply rooted the problems are in our system. It is time for us to speak up - for women's rights and for the well-being of our children.
20.01.25
I am 36 years old. I have been working as a social worker since 2017 and have been training to be a journalist for two months.
A sad but common phenomenon that I observe is the manipulation of children by fathers who deliberately want to destroy the relationship between mother and child after the separation. It starts insidiously: the father portrays the mother as incapable, plays the children against her with false promises or subtle remarks. This behavior, known as parental alienation, can cause massive psychological damage to the children in the long term - and at the same time cements the suffering of the mothers affected.
According to a study by the University of Regensburg, women are particularly likely to suffer from this dynamic. They feel abandoned, not only by their former partners, but also by the institutions that are supposed to protect them. The result: the women fight not only for the well-being of their children, but also for their psychological stability.
Court decisions against the welfare of the child
A frightening example from my practice shows how women are disadvantaged in court, even when the fathers' behavior endangers the welfare of the child. A mother I look after had to witness how her ex-husband repeatedly put her children in dangerous situations that almost ended in death. Although several experts assessed the father as unsuitable to look after the children, the court ruled in his favor. Two of the four children now live with him - despite all the warning signs.
These decisions reflect a system that often does not take women seriously. Studies, for example by the German Institute for Economic Research (DIW), show that fathers are often portrayed in court as "indispensable" for the development of the children, while the achievements and warnings of the mothers are ignored.
Violence against women and institutional blindness
Another point that exacerbates the problem is the way domestic violence is dealt with. Many women report that their experiences are trivialized in court. The report of the GREVIO Committee on the implementation of the Istanbul Convention in Germany shows that Germany still has massive gaps in the protection of women from violence. Especially in family courts, it is often argued that children "need both parents" - even if one parent has used violence.
What needs to change?
1. Better training for professionals: Judges, lawyers and youth welfare office employees need to be better trained to recognize child welfare and manipulation dynamics.
2. Greater emphasis on expert opinions: Reports from social workers, psychologists and other professionals need to be given greater consideration in court.
3. Clearer legal regulations: Legal requirements are needed to prevent children from being placed in the care of dangerous parents - especially in cases of violence or neglect.
4. Strengthening women's rights: Women need to be supported more, be it through legal advice, psychological help or financial support.
Germany still has a long way to go when it comes to women's rights. The stories I experience in my work and the reports from those affected show how deeply rooted the problems are in our system. It is time for us to speak up - for women's rights and for the well-being of our children.
20.01.25
I am 36 years old. I have been working as a social worker since 2017 and have been training to be a journalist for two months.
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