Heinrich Heine compact
"Anyone who argues on the street will be shot immediately!" wrote Heinrich Heine. He thus foresaw the extremely original change in procedural law that was attempted in the failed ban on the magazine Compact. This testifies to the true greatness of the third poet laureate.
by Alexander Kira
by Alexander Kira
Being a satirist is sometimes the easiest job in the world. Contrary to popular belief, we don't make things up, we just present reality in a much more boring and bland way so that it seems credible. This is also the case with the current ban and its lifting of the leading German media Compact. Drawing far-reaching conclusions from a narrow basis is a basic principle for postdoctoral theses. True to this motto, we only want to shed light on one aspect of the proceedings, which could already be considered satirical exaggeration.
One of the reasons given for the ban was a conversation with the caretaker at the magazine's headquarters. He felt incited by the magazine to overthrow the government. Phew! This is of course a statement that justifies any ban on its own. One wonders why, given these facts, other arguments were even listed in the ban order. But the public had not recognized the actual long-term effect of this chain of conclusions for German procedural law - but now the court responsible for the interim injunction proceedings apparently did. Truly, you have to have a legal background to appreciate the explosive nature of this precedent:
While in the past, evidence or facts were needed for a decision in administrative proceedings, now subjective opinions from people in close proximity to the legal subject in question are sufficient. In this case, so-called "caretaker changes". With unforeseen consequences for citizens, but clearly in line with the demanded reduction in bureaucracy: What an effort it used to be to prove to a landlord that the beer tap was contaminated with germs. Today, all it takes is a passer-by to say: "Holy cow, I would never drink anything in a pub like that!" - and that is proof of germs in the beer tap. This of course also carries risks for politics itself:
If an exhausted taxi driver says to a passenger in front of the Ministry of Labor: "No self-employed person can afford these social security contributions anymore...", this is proof of Hubertus Heil's incitement to social security fraud. With resignation as the only consequence. This also explains why ministries are often cordoned off over large areas. Spontaneous statements from passers-by can drag ministers into political ruin. In future election campaigns, opposing supporters will simply mingle with passers-by at the polling station and say: "Oops, I was thinking of Dr. Volker Wissing during my last hit-and-run!" - and you'll be unelectable because of complicity!
The question is how this development will continue. Look up Heine, the second most famous German in Paris after Karl Lagerfeld: "Anyone who argues on the street / will be shot immediately. / Reasoning through gestures / should also be severely punished." This is what the poem with the complicated title says: Memories from Krähwinkel's days of terror. The author of these lines does not want to go that far. However, the further exegesis of the text is helpful: Because "reasoning through gestures should also be severely punished." What Heine wanted to tell us is, in plain language:
Soon, a sideways glance will be enough for a ban. It will be enough to observe passers-by instead of searching houses and confiscating material. If passers-by look too far to the right or left as they pass, this is proof of the extremism in question. If they reach into a bag as they pass, the potential for them to reach for a weapon is beyond doubt. If a pedestrian falls in front of a house, this is a clear indication of plans to overthrow the building. If children fall, this is also proof of a threat to young people. And if a compact car drives past, any comment is probably superfluous.
PS: Is this a comment against the ban on compact cars? This is a comment for the greatest achievement of the constitutional state: the end must never justify the means. Because these are like a boomerang: if it misses its target, it hits the person who threw it.
PPS: I dedicate this comment to my German teacher who recently died. If he had known in his advanced German class that the humble author of these lines would come up with the Heine quotes... he would have been more than happy.
08/26/2024
Alexander Kira has written about international human rights protection and is a lawyer, presenter and cabaret artist. He lives and writes in the heart of Berlin.
One of the reasons given for the ban was a conversation with the caretaker at the magazine's headquarters. He felt incited by the magazine to overthrow the government. Phew! This is of course a statement that justifies any ban on its own. One wonders why, given these facts, other arguments were even listed in the ban order. But the public had not recognized the actual long-term effect of this chain of conclusions for German procedural law - but now the court responsible for the interim injunction proceedings apparently did. Truly, you have to have a legal background to appreciate the explosive nature of this precedent:
While in the past, evidence or facts were needed for a decision in administrative proceedings, now subjective opinions from people in close proximity to the legal subject in question are sufficient. In this case, so-called "caretaker changes". With unforeseen consequences for citizens, but clearly in line with the demanded reduction in bureaucracy: What an effort it used to be to prove to a landlord that the beer tap was contaminated with germs. Today, all it takes is a passer-by to say: "Holy cow, I would never drink anything in a pub like that!" - and that is proof of germs in the beer tap. This of course also carries risks for politics itself:
If an exhausted taxi driver says to a passenger in front of the Ministry of Labor: "No self-employed person can afford these social security contributions anymore...", this is proof of Hubertus Heil's incitement to social security fraud. With resignation as the only consequence. This also explains why ministries are often cordoned off over large areas. Spontaneous statements from passers-by can drag ministers into political ruin. In future election campaigns, opposing supporters will simply mingle with passers-by at the polling station and say: "Oops, I was thinking of Dr. Volker Wissing during my last hit-and-run!" - and you'll be unelectable because of complicity!
The question is how this development will continue. Look up Heine, the second most famous German in Paris after Karl Lagerfeld: "Anyone who argues on the street / will be shot immediately. / Reasoning through gestures / should also be severely punished." This is what the poem with the complicated title says: Memories from Krähwinkel's days of terror. The author of these lines does not want to go that far. However, the further exegesis of the text is helpful: Because "reasoning through gestures should also be severely punished." What Heine wanted to tell us is, in plain language:
Soon, a sideways glance will be enough for a ban. It will be enough to observe passers-by instead of searching houses and confiscating material. If passers-by look too far to the right or left as they pass, this is proof of the extremism in question. If they reach into a bag as they pass, the potential for them to reach for a weapon is beyond doubt. If a pedestrian falls in front of a house, this is a clear indication of plans to overthrow the building. If children fall, this is also proof of a threat to young people. And if a compact car drives past, any comment is probably superfluous.
PS: Is this a comment against the ban on compact cars? This is a comment for the greatest achievement of the constitutional state: the end must never justify the means. Because these are like a boomerang: if it misses its target, it hits the person who threw it.
PPS: I dedicate this comment to my German teacher who recently died. If he had known in his advanced German class that the humble author of these lines would come up with the Heine quotes... he would have been more than happy.
08/26/2024
Alexander Kira has written about international human rights protection and is a lawyer, presenter and cabaret artist. He lives and writes in the heart of Berlin.
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