Perike von der Klöppel
This week an era ends. The first host and his co-hosts are retiring. The first real anchorman, who was called that, even if he had been a host or editor in the studio for a long time, is retiring along with his colleague. So far, so normal. And yet it is no small matter. Because it is a farewell to so much more than just two people. Kai Blasberg was always a little bit involved.
I got married for the first time in spring 1992. A look at the pictures from that time shows a Popper, when they no longer existed, with a sweeping side quiff in wild suits. They were pastel back then, sometimes made of viscose. Like the ties, which were as colorful as they were wide. I was not only considered very cheeky (I was 27), I was also considered a well-dressed, cocky, somewhat Lindner-like talkative man. Maybe I like to reject this type of man so much today. I know the type. It was at this point that I threw all my energy into marketing advertising time for the regional programs of Radio Television Luxembourg, known as RTL for short. In Cologne, they still work "in the evening". Under the only slightly older Luxembourger Marc Conrad, known as Napoleon, it was at this point that the backbone of the station, "Access Prime", was created, which still stands today. Terms that are common today were completely new territory at the time. "RTL viewers don't need a wristwatch. They should be able to tell the time from the program" was Conrad's premise. He was a huge success with it. At first, nobody noticed - after all, we are in Germany.
When I entered the premises of the EuroRSCG advertising agency on the day after D-Day, I think it was May 11th, I was met with a wave of rejection. "Shame on you" was the most harmless. "Explosiv" started the evening with the cool Barbara Eligmann. And in this first program, English freshmen vomited into buckets after drinking too much. And because it was television, people saw it. Back then, it was one of the many taboos that are now branded as children's birthday parties. Was that supposed to happen every evening now? "Good Times - Bad Times" started in the same way. Today, fans cannot imagine life without it, but at the time it was scandalous to want to broadcast a soap opera every day with untrained "actors". What an imposition in the land of dense thinkers. The news program "RTL aktuell" embedded in it could only be rubbish. Because they had already been presenting the people being celebrated today for a few days. Peter Klöppel, a mixture of Mr. Kaiser from Hamburg-Mannheimer and the always friendly counter clerk at the Sparkasse, a much better son-in-law than his own, and his studio maid, the favorite friend of all German boomer girls and the secret poster girl of the terraced housing projects, Ulrike von der Groeben, née and much-desired Elfes, were now part of the family. A guest every evening, sometimes with the most terrible messages, but always serious, despite being relaxed, always in a good mood, even when there was no reason to be, and above all: always there. So that is going to change now too? Are they that old already? The answer: yes! And Ulrike is even older than Peter. Can that be? We look in the mirror and say: "Hm. Could be. That's it." And thank you for the kindness you give us. Because with you our aging is more bearable. And many, many thanks to the management of "bäim Ächteell." Because you supposedly invented the youth craze on German television and then gave us, the many-born, a share in the merciful decay. When Peter and Ulrike leave, it is much more bearable to think about it ourselves. And yet we ask ourselves: what's coming? And: what was?
In 1992, according to Kaiser Franz, the German national team, which had just become world champions under him, was unbeatable for years. As always, when the recently deceased Beckenbauer blathered on, his prediction lasted less than a year. And the federal government's responsible politician Berti was the Kaiser's pathetic antipode. Just as he wanted. In 1992, we Germans had just been reunified. And already a little disillusioned. In 1992 there was no internet and no cell phones; people printed on inkjet printers, but computers couldn't handle more than Word files. In 1992, Porsche was almost bankrupt. And Helmut Kohl was chancellor. When people made an appointment, they agreed to meet weeks in advance and it never occurred to anyone not to keep the appointment. Bill Clinton became President of the USA and in Rostock-Lichtenhagen German petty bourgeoisie raged against foreigners. The Balkan War raged too. And nobody helped militarily. Or only when it was far too late. And in violation of international law. But there had always been the German standard. It was called two things. At least many refugees came when they could not yet be called refugees. Germany took them in and they integrated splendidly. There were Olympic Gamesalso. When Peter Klöppel and Ulrike von der Groeben first appeared as a duo in April 1992, Klaus Doldinger's theme song from "Das Boot" in the version by U 96 was number one. "The Files" by John Grisham was the best-selling book and "Beauty and the Beast" the most-watched film. That all sounds completely normal. And very well-known too. "Youth is a state of the soul" is one of my favorite aphorisms.
And it's true. Ulrike Elfes and 67 years old just don't go together. And yet they're leaving now. Now that 82-year-old Joe Biden has to be forced to show insight, which is a waste of time for 78-year-old idiot Trump. Now that 72-year-old Putin is starting war after war to gain attention and Fritze Merz, who will be 70 by then, wants to troll his way to becoming Chancellor. We citizens are constantly expected to get used to new things. In 1992 we knew who the head of Deutsche Bank was, who was the head of Mercedes. Today we no longer know. So the familiar and popular faces go. And the familiar unpopular ones stay. That can't be right. Can't Klöppel be Chancellor? And wouldn't Ulrike von der Groeben be a great Minister for Family Affairs with sports in her portfolio? Or will you just keep doing what you do so well? Aren't we the oldest nation in the world after Japan and have we simply earned you? I can ask that. But only one thing is certain: in 2056 I will not be writing a column about the outgoing hosts "vum Ächteell". Why? No one will be able to read it anymore. And Mark Meuser would be as old as Joe Biden.
08/23/24
*Kai Blasberg worked in the private media in Germany for 40 years
When I entered the premises of the EuroRSCG advertising agency on the day after D-Day, I think it was May 11th, I was met with a wave of rejection. "Shame on you" was the most harmless. "Explosiv" started the evening with the cool Barbara Eligmann. And in this first program, English freshmen vomited into buckets after drinking too much. And because it was television, people saw it. Back then, it was one of the many taboos that are now branded as children's birthday parties. Was that supposed to happen every evening now? "Good Times - Bad Times" started in the same way. Today, fans cannot imagine life without it, but at the time it was scandalous to want to broadcast a soap opera every day with untrained "actors". What an imposition in the land of dense thinkers. The news program "RTL aktuell" embedded in it could only be rubbish. Because they had already been presenting the people being celebrated today for a few days. Peter Klöppel, a mixture of Mr. Kaiser from Hamburg-Mannheimer and the always friendly counter clerk at the Sparkasse, a much better son-in-law than his own, and his studio maid, the favorite friend of all German boomer girls and the secret poster girl of the terraced housing projects, Ulrike von der Groeben, née and much-desired Elfes, were now part of the family. A guest every evening, sometimes with the most terrible messages, but always serious, despite being relaxed, always in a good mood, even when there was no reason to be, and above all: always there. So that is going to change now too? Are they that old already? The answer: yes! And Ulrike is even older than Peter. Can that be? We look in the mirror and say: "Hm. Could be. That's it." And thank you for the kindness you give us. Because with you our aging is more bearable. And many, many thanks to the management of "bäim Ächteell." Because you supposedly invented the youth craze on German television and then gave us, the many-born, a share in the merciful decay. When Peter and Ulrike leave, it is much more bearable to think about it ourselves. And yet we ask ourselves: what's coming? And: what was?
In 1992, according to Kaiser Franz, the German national team, which had just become world champions under him, was unbeatable for years. As always, when the recently deceased Beckenbauer blathered on, his prediction lasted less than a year. And the federal government's responsible politician Berti was the Kaiser's pathetic antipode. Just as he wanted. In 1992, we Germans had just been reunified. And already a little disillusioned. In 1992 there was no internet and no cell phones; people printed on inkjet printers, but computers couldn't handle more than Word files. In 1992, Porsche was almost bankrupt. And Helmut Kohl was chancellor. When people made an appointment, they agreed to meet weeks in advance and it never occurred to anyone not to keep the appointment. Bill Clinton became President of the USA and in Rostock-Lichtenhagen German petty bourgeoisie raged against foreigners. The Balkan War raged too. And nobody helped militarily. Or only when it was far too late. And in violation of international law. But there had always been the German standard. It was called two things. At least many refugees came when they could not yet be called refugees. Germany took them in and they integrated splendidly. There were Olympic Gamesalso. When Peter Klöppel and Ulrike von der Groeben first appeared as a duo in April 1992, Klaus Doldinger's theme song from "Das Boot" in the version by U 96 was number one. "The Files" by John Grisham was the best-selling book and "Beauty and the Beast" the most-watched film. That all sounds completely normal. And very well-known too. "Youth is a state of the soul" is one of my favorite aphorisms.
And it's true. Ulrike Elfes and 67 years old just don't go together. And yet they're leaving now. Now that 82-year-old Joe Biden has to be forced to show insight, which is a waste of time for 78-year-old idiot Trump. Now that 72-year-old Putin is starting war after war to gain attention and Fritze Merz, who will be 70 by then, wants to troll his way to becoming Chancellor. We citizens are constantly expected to get used to new things. In 1992 we knew who the head of Deutsche Bank was, who was the head of Mercedes. Today we no longer know. So the familiar and popular faces go. And the familiar unpopular ones stay. That can't be right. Can't Klöppel be Chancellor? And wouldn't Ulrike von der Groeben be a great Minister for Family Affairs with sports in her portfolio? Or will you just keep doing what you do so well? Aren't we the oldest nation in the world after Japan and have we simply earned you? I can ask that. But only one thing is certain: in 2056 I will not be writing a column about the outgoing hosts "vum Ächteell". Why? No one will be able to read it anymore. And Mark Meuser would be as old as Joe Biden.
08/23/24
*Kai Blasberg worked in the private media in Germany for 40 years
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